Ensemble of the Day: I Got a Red Dress and New Hair Edition

I feel like a cowgirl in this pretty, cotton, red-orange dress, mostly because of the awesome ruffle detail on the bust of the dress.  If I threw on my fabulous cowboy boots, I could have stepped right out of that film Urban Cowboy.  I bought it for $8 at a Goodwill in Fairfax County.   I never wore red until I found a fantastic onesie at the Forever 21 in South Korea and bought a beautiful red dress from Top Shop in the Philippines.  I love how saturated the color of the dress is; it looks very flattering on someone with a nice tan.  Basically me.  I paired the dress with some pretty gold bangles, a bronze belt with starfish detail on the buckle, and a red and gold necklace.  It's one of those easy things to throw on when you haven't got time to think about your outfit.

(Here's a Southern Belle secret from way back then.  They use to sew ruffles on the inside of the bust line on the bodice to push up the breasts to the top of the dress.)  A ruffle on the outside of the bodice is a great way to create the illusion of having a large bust.  Have you ever seen Korean bathing suits?  The majority have ruffles on the bust.  I love ruffles because ruffles are ruffles, but I will not begrudge anyone increasing their bustiness through use of optical illusions.  Lord knows that miracle bra from Victoria's Secret nets me more tips than my charm.  I got tired of the necklace so I took it off and threw on a scarf (the scarf that Stephanie tried to wrest from my possession).

This dress style was very popular in the early 1980s.  I have a white dress similar in silhouette, and it's very flattering when belted.  Look how tiny my waist and arms look!  Another optical illusion.  I love dresses that flare at the bottom because they cause one's waist to look small.

Ensemble of the Day: Yo it's Polyester Edition

Synthetic nails.  Synthetic eyelashes.  Synthetic hair.  Nobody judges you for wearing synthetic eyeballs but the moment you tell somebody that you're wearing polyester it's all, "Oh mah gawwwwwwwwwwd you're an old school ghetto blaster!"  Really trick?  Really?  You KNOW your eyes are doodoo brown and not green don't you dare tell me oh mah gawwwwwwwwwwd.  

Many thought that the end of the 1970s would bring about the death of polyester.  But as any vintage hunter worth her salt knows, polyester made a reappearance in the 1980s.  I looked up polyester online and the article said that it tried to make a reappearance in the 80s but failed.  I know this is not true.  Do not listen to the Internet.  My closet is proof.  Bring it on shiny fabrics!  I happen to love dresses with a little bit of 80s sheen on it.  Afro sheen.  Let your SOUUUUUUUUL GLOW sheen.  *Aside  Did you know that pleated dresses and skirts from before the 1980s were 9/10 polyester?  Polyester is one of the few fabrics that can hold a shape.  I've thrown a pleated skirt in the washing machine dozens of times and it still retains its shape!  I will never abandon polyester never! Aside over*

I bought this dress during the winter so I never got the opportunity to wear it.  It is about two sizes too big so I added an electric blue suede belt to ensure I wouldn't look like Wally the Wallowing Walrus.  No necklace needed; simple purple earrings and a magenta bracelet brought out the nice jewel tones in the dress.  The sleeves are considered short, basic, flutter sleeves.  I'm not wearing any shoes because I was headed to CVS, not that it's any of your business.

Yeah yeah I was playing with the different settings on the camera.